small note.

it dawns on me, not infrequently, that the posts I find myself revisiting most often here (yes I do love gazing into the pool what about it) are the weird ones. the off-the-cuff ones. like what the fuck was I on when I wrote this [untitled internet screed]. at least I remember the IRL context to this [“not much”]; and, relatedly, I still think the would-be follow-up is trying too hard.

the ones I care the least for are the ones I put… I don’t want to say Effort™, it’s not like the smaller things don’t take some degree of energy and thought. but like, I actually don’t care about the 5,000-word diatribe against social media or whatever. it is vastly more likely than the other stuff to get me a Good Grade in Blogging but like who the fuck cares also

if “growing up” is figuring out what you are, what you like doing, external expectations be damned, then… I am still very clueless in a lot of regards, and I like being seen as witty and amusing and all that jester shit, and I write to amuse myself a non-small amount, too. portfolio (professional persona, wears a suit to zoom lectures) [versus] hobbies (slug, draws on the wall with crayon) is probably one of my favorite things I’ve written and like what do I even call that, it’s not even a prose or a memoir or anything like that it’s just throwing words to the void until, as titled, I got bored

idk. shit is inevitable but we’re getting somewhere, if only because time marches inexorably on.

(see, that, that’s a tryhard line. but “shit is inevitable / but you’re doing good” is one of those phrases that’s nailed itself into my consciousness, forever.)